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Visiting a Virused White House

Terry H. Schwadron

Oct. 11, 2020

Hey, I know what would be fun. Let’s grab the kids and swing by the White House.

We can’t go to the movies because these Democrats have shut the theaters. We should go to the White House instead, where our leader is ready to embrace us again after conquering coronavirus, just like he did the caliphate!

Sure, there are nearly two dozen officials there who’ve tested positive for coronavirus, and the place has practically turned into a hot-spot lab for virus germination, but what the hell. It’s the White House! Sure, Donald Trump is lumbering around with no mask, but he is sure that he is immune and not spreading the disease; he’s told us so repeatedly.

A doctor who’s never seen Trump or his lab tests even weighed in on Tucker Carlson’s political punditry show safe to the world, so what’s not to believe? Our Donald told the Fox News contributor Dr. Marc Siegel that “I’m either at the bottom of the scale or free,” so what more do you need to know? Thankfully, Dr. Siegel sees coronavirus as akin to flue and thinks there is no science behind use of masks.

Besides, Donald Trump promises to speak. And you know it’s got to be good stuff! His observations and comments always cover such a breadth of history, such erudite knowledge about the great sweep of events before us, that it’s got to be a fun event.

We’ll get a chance to stand together with other loyalists to show we’re against any kind of enforced health care, against facemasks, against those stupid environmental concerns and yell together for four more years of Trump, mixing our voices and droplets in pursuit of Greatness for America!

Sure, we could just see him debate on television and be safe, but what’s Life for, anyway, if we don’t take chances. That Trump — he’s sent from Heaven to show us that he is invincible even in the face of contagious public disease. That’s what we want from our leader.

Besides, the debate would have been biased against Trump because moderators insist on their own questions rather than Donald’s.

A Law? What Law?

We’ll be at the White House — at least 500 of us of the 2,000 invited — to show our Patriotism, and to yell at those who would send out mail ballots to Democratic wimps who don’t even care enough for their country to stand in line in contagious polling places to vote in person. What a relief to hear Trump call them all “communists.”

Yes, it is illegal to use the White House for outwardly partisan political purposes, but who cares about that stupid law. You think Barack Obama and his crowd didn’t do politics at the White House? That law is outmoded, and, in any event, it doesn’t apply to our Donald Trump.

He is such a national treasure that we need to throw out all those laws.

If we cared so much about laws, we would have locked up Hillary Clinton for whatever it was that she did — or didn’t do — with her emails. And we would have arrested Obama for trying to connect the Trump campaign with those Russians who the FBI tells us repeatedly are out there working for Trump’s reelection now.

It’s time for people to stop questioning Donald Trump’s medical status. If he feels okay, he must be okay. We should be honoring his resilience and his willingness to stand up to Disease as well as to Democrats. He’s right: We shouldn’t be afraid of Coronavirus. We should be afraid of Democrats who want to shut down our economy to stop disease. Besides, Trump is a political beast. How long do you think doctors and contagion can keep this powerhouse from getting back on the campaign trail?

We can’t have a Sleepy Joe Biden and that monster, Kamala Harris, take away our tax cuts.

Campaign Rebirth

Those Democrats keep pushing for wimpy mandates that make no sense. Imagine that they’re upset because the Centers for Disease Control was trying to sneak an order by the White House to force everyone in the country to wear facemasks on airplanes, trains, buses and subways.

Thank goodness for our Donald to squash that. It’s not as if there were subways in Montana!

On to Florida from here. Let’s give the campaign its last big push by going to a contagious White House!

Even if the blessed Donald Trump does still have a little bit of the virus in him, what’s more important here?

Our Donald is willing to sacrifice his body for our jobs, or at least the jobs we used to have before he started ignoring coronavirus. What do those doctors know anyway. This is about how willing we are to fight, not some dumb lab tests.

Didn’t he invent a new cure while he was in the hospital?

Sure, they will take our temperature on the way there. But that’s all so we don’t re-infect Donald Trump, not because he presents a danger to us.

Hey, only 200,000 people have died, and they probably were going to die anyway. We need Donald Trump to Keep America Great.


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Journalist, musician, community volunteer

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